Thursday, October 26, 2006

TotaL ReLieF

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Its been exactly a week since I've been away from that place and believe me when I say... it feels damn great! Now, was I not stupid to have chosen to go there to study? - You stupiak stupiak girl -

Runaway.. I wanna runaway.. Runaway from there and stay home. I know I have this problem with letting go of the past. I cherish almost everything I come across in life. I hate life changing stuff~ Somehow I always wish for things to stay just the way it is.

But life changes with time and that sucks big time. You'll really apprepriate your home and family once you live in my heLL. You'll apprepriate all the food which you eat everyday at home; boring menu and seems like its been the same for 5 years.

Doing chores is not that bad especially when you have all the equipments there for you. Washing dishes has never been easier when you know you're not grossed out with the sink. Folding up clothes is fun when you can watch tv while doing it. Washing clothes with the washing machine makes your life so much easier but your arms lazy.

Suddenly all those scoldings and naggings you used to hate, you miss so much. Your sibling who you used to get so annoyed with is now like your good friend to share everything with. How you can always count on them to be there for you to give you a listening ear.

So why did I give it all up? I was not thinking, I guess. I thought I'm tough enough to stay there for 4 years. I was thinking if my sister could do it, why can't I? That's the one thing I really look up to my sister. She's been alone there for 5 years now. I've only been away for what 14 weeks? I'm already missing home so much and with the place being such a pain in my a** is not making it any easier.

I'm no school teacher material. What the hell was I thinking? When I was crying everyday last month there, my friend and I spent a lot of time talking. I was telling her how before I left Kuching, I was already crying everyday. She scolded me, "You crazy ah... already cry everyday and you still wanna come?!" It was more of heart don't wanna, my brain says ok... I hate it when my heart and brain don't work together. Hahaha~

I'm loving home. Although its messy and stuff. It feels just like home. The air I breathe in, the sound of birds chirping and dogs barking, the sound of the tv while my dad watches it, how cold my house can be even on a afternoon with just the right weather, how my mum would rush me to type her work and me having to work til 5am in the morning. How it all brings back the old days.

HappY~! =) am drunk with happiness and relief~~
-ping pong piang-


0 leaves


Sunday, October 22, 2006

BacK HomE

Sunday, October 22, 2006
Finally, I'm back home again. Dont ask me why but whenever I'm home, I just feel so relax and lazy. Even when I'm studying, I'm in a lazy position which is a risk to falling asleep. ~Not Good But FeeLs GreaT~

I'm now online with my new lappy! A super belated birthday present from my uncle. Its a DeLL InSpiron 1300. Heavy though.... but the whole system is great with no lagging and everything is working wonderfully.

I was so stupid to choose to study away from Kuching. Stupiak~ IT feels so nice to back home where everything is just how you like it. Where your family and friends are. I wanna be here the rest of my life.... wee hehe~ My heaven~

I'll only know the outcome of this by the end of this holiday, I guess~ I really need to knock my head. I feel so stupiak~ piak PIak!! I'll make this a short post now. Wanna enjoy being home. Hehe~

Bye bYE~!





0 leaves


Sunday, October 08, 2006

LosT iN LiFe

Sunday, October 08, 2006
Have you ever felt lost? Like you don't know just what the hell are you suppose to do in life. Everyday you dread waking up. Just as you open your eyes, you just wish you can go back to sleep and forget everything. I've been feeling like this since a month. The fasting month for those aliens are not making it any easier for me.

They are fasting but that does not mean others who are not fasting don't eat. Just because they can't eat, they want us to stay back to discuss crap. I really don't care about them. Everyone says I should just mind my own business and study. Tell that to them and the lecturers and they will lecture you saying "In University, you must work with everyone what more to say if you are doing music."

I'm getting to stupidly emotional. Just the slightest thing can make me get upset. Emotionally unstable. Everything add up, I end up crying and people misunderstand me saying I'm arrogant. Its like I have no right to be sad at all. Like I can't put on a sad face when I'm feeling sad. Idiots...

Seriously speaking, I WARN ALL CHINESE NEVER TO APPLY TO where I'm studying. Its just not a friendly place to chinese. The aliens here will always be pointing a knife at your neck. (Not literally though) The students, office clerks, guards, library guards and even the people selling food either in the shop or stalls by the road side.

My coursemates (the aliens) are always saying that we chinese are arrogant and think we are too clever. They are always using that against us when we are about to do something they don't like. I really feel like slapping the person who says it. They are the most unwelcoming people ever. I seriously don't know how the whole batch is going to survive 6 more semesters together.

I think I sure can go crazy... if I stay like this any longer. I really don't know what to do anymore. Everyone is starting to get fed up with me, even I myself is getting fed up with myself. I never felt like this when I was younger.

I scribble so often on papers. Writing words like "HELP", "SOMEBODY SAVE ME", "GO BACK HOME".... gOING MentAL am I noT?

Two more weeks of this hell... Then at least I'm going back home, maybe then I'll feel much better but will have to return to TM for finals and by then I'm suppose to make my decision whether to stay or leave for good. This is going to be a one time thing only. If I decide to stay, I will have to get in my head that I have to just finish 3years. If I decide to leave, it will be the last time I can ever change course and I can never ever change my mind again.

Gotta go, gotta head back to TM and get ready for another week of torture and torment.





P.s.:
LIving a simple LiFe in Kuching is like the best thing ever...
Its small and easy to get around~
People is Kuching are more friendly...
Its way, way cheaper to eat out in Kuching..
Its always best to stay with your family~
There's just no place like HOME~


3 leaves